(TWO SCIENTISTS in a laboratory have been frozen in time. They appear distraught and have been affixed as follows:
The MALE SCIENTIST; hunched before a massive panel of multi-colored buttons- one hand grasping a tuft of his hair while the other is extending down towards the panel.
The FEMALE SCIENTIST; braced with her back against the only visible doorway- struggling to keep a deadly monster from entering the lab.
A SHOWGIRL walks in front of the stage with a cardboard sign which reads,
'ACT 1'
and then falters near her intended exit at the opposite end. She glances hesitantly toward the two scientists, moves to make her body half hidden by an incomplete exit, then stops.)
SHOWGIRL
Wha…I dunno. What do you want me to do?
She turns in response to an unvoiced command, and with a smile no less sincere than her first- walks, with sign outstretched to her original entrance at the opposite end of the stage.
ENTER DIRECTOR, whose panicked head appears from behind a curtain on the other side of the stage. The showgirl meets his pleading eyes, and then shrugs. They both look worriedly to the two scientists, then confusedly gesture one another to proceed.
The SHOWGIRL sighs and marches across the stage to the DIRECTOR where there immediately begins a bickering, whispered debate. After a few moments of this, The Director suddenly turns and strides angrily to the unmoving SCIENTISTS up-stage.
He whispers angry questions at them- but they do not respond. He shouts muffled accusations at them- but to no avail. They remain frozen and uncooperative in time.)
DIRECTOR
-pfooooooo…
The Director turns back on his heels towards the two scientists, hesitates; and then returns his attention to the crowd.
DIRECTOR
-this…(nervous laugh)…I…(brief pause as he looks toward the two SCIENTISTS) I'm sorry- I don't know what they're doing…so…
He glances nervously to his right and left until he catches the SHOWGIRLS attention. She shrugs.
The houselights fade up.
SHOWGIRL
-I guess…I mean I don't know what to say. (She looks to the Scientists.) What the fuck are you guys doing?
The ASSISTANT walks haltingly onto the stage- not at all comfortable with the situation. A Technician (TECH) emerges from his booth (or from some technical station behind the audience) and looks questioningly to his co-workers for support. No one notices him.
SHOWGIRL
-well (but the DIRECTOR has already begun moving towards his ASSISTANT.) Pfooo.
The Director stops the charge towards his assistant when he notices the TECH.
DIRECTOR
(Barely perceptible. To the TECH.) Did you know anything about this?)
TECH
No, I…
DIRECTOR
-they didn't say anything to you? Nothing?
TECH
-no, I mean…I don't…
DIRECTOR
(attempting to communicate with his Assistant who is too far away to understand what the Director is saying.) I don't…I don't know what to do.
TECH
(Loudly to the Showgirl.) What's up?
SHOWGIRL
Pfooo…(she snaps to the sound of the Techs voice.) -wha?
DIRECTOR
(to his assistant, who still cannot hear.) What do you want to do?
DIRECTOR
-What Do You Want To Do? (louder this time, but still incomprehensible.)
The Assistant is visibly upset. He steps out of the shadows and begins to march toward the director.
TECH
This is fucking awesome.
The Showgirl coughs out a single breath of nervous laughter. She appears gratefull to the Tech for having dispelled some of the Audiences negative attention.
The Assistant ends his march face to face with the Director.
ASSISTANT
What the fuck were you saying, man? I didn't hear you.
DIRECTOR
-I said what do you want to do?
ASSISTANT
-you're the…goddamn…(he grabs the script from the directors hands and pushes his way toward the Showgirl and the Tech. He stops briefly to address the audience.) Hey, folks- uh…sorry,
I'm gonna try and clear all this out…get someone else up here for you. (he motions toward the Showgirl and the Tech.) Would you guys come down here for a second, please?
The SHOWGIRL immediately begins walking toward the assistant while the Tech lingers hesitantly behind.
TECH
-what about the lights?
DIRECTOR
(to his assistant.) What are you gonna do?
ASSISTANT
(ignoring the DIRECTOR. Addressing the TECH, instead.) What about em? I need you to come down here and help, okay. You don't need to be worrying about lights, right now.
The TECH walks down into the pit shaking his head and stands next to the SHOWGIRL.
TECH
(Under his breath) Lame.
The Director folds his arms, embarrassed- pretending to be intrigued as his assistant passes out scripts to the crew.
DIRECTOR
What is this?
SHOWGIRL
No…I don't…I can't do this…(She hands the script back to the Assistant, who frowns and pushes it back toward her.)
The Assistant pulls the Showgirl off to the side- leaving the Tech standing uncomfortably silent next to the director.
SHOWGIRL
(in a harsh whisper) I'm not gonna do this. / No.
ASSISTANT
-all you have to do is just /
SHOWGIRL
/ no, I can't.
ASSISTANT
/ read from the script. It's a cold read /
SHOWGIRL
/ don't you have…like..
ASSISTANT
-Understudies? Yeah, cause this is a really big production.
SHOWGIRL
-Well, I mean…What…
ASSISTANT
Look, man…this is it. This is everyone. Don't fuck me. Just read from the goddamn script.
DIRECTOR
(to Tech) I think we should just stop all this and let someone else go on.
TECH
(Shrugs) Well…you're the fuckin' Director. Why don't you tell everyone to stop so that somebody else can go on?
SHOWGIRL
Alright, from where to where?
ASSISTANT
(Turns at the sound of her voice) What?
SHOWGIRL
Where do you want me to start?
ASSISTANT
Oh, uh…
TECH
(Flipping through the script.) Hey, who am I?
SHOWGIRL
Yeah, I don't even…
The Director walks listlessly up to the stage and snaps his fingers at the frozen scientists. They do not respond. The Assistant pulls the script out of the Showgirls hands and scans his eyes down the page.
ASSISTANT
-youuuuuuu (he flips through the script) are reading for Dr. Isus (He puts the script back into her hands and moves over to the Tech.) and youuuuu, are /
SHOWGIRL
So this is a guy? I'm reading for a guy?
(The Tech and the Assistant look worriedly up to the Showgirl.)
DIRECTOR
(To the Scientists.) HEY! (He snaps his fingers) HEY!
ASSISTANT
(Quickly explaining to the Tech.) So from here to here…skip all this shit- and finish right here, okay? (He immediately turns to the Showgirl.) Is that okay?
SHOWGIRL
It's fine, I…It's fine…
The assistant cautiously nods and then walks over to the Director.
ASSISTANT
Can you take the booth?
The director sighs visibly.
ASSISTANT
Can you please take the booth?
DIRECTOR
I don't…( He looks around nervously and walks to the edge of the pit, just beyond earshot. The Assistant impatiently follows.) I really don't want to be in the booth.
The rest of their conversation trails off into whispered bickering
SHOWGIRL
(To Tech) I really don't want to read for a man.
TECH
You wanna trade?
SHOWGIRL
Is it a boy or a girl?
TECH
Well, the…I think it all takes place in the 5th dimension, so…boy / girl doesn't really apply…
SHOWGIRL
-What's the 5th dimension?
TECH
(laughs nervously) -do you…
DIRECTOR
(cutting in. Loudly, to the audience. Having returned from his talk with the Assistant.) Hey, so…sorry again- everybody. We're gonna try and get the ball rolling, here. And uh…I'm gonna go operate the technical aspects of the show. So…
The Assistant leans in to whisper something encouraging into the Directors ear- shrugging…as if to minimize the importance of the situation. The Director nods and coolly points his finger around the room- disappearing into the booth with a smile. There is a beat as they all watch him depart.
SHOWGIRL
(To assistant) What's the 5th dimension?
ASSISTANT
What?
The Assistant and the Tech Pause as they wait, hopefully- for the Showgirls storm to pass. No such luck.
SHOWGIRL
-am I a boy or a girl?
An uncomfortable silence.
ASSISTANT
It's a girl
SHOWGIRL
Well…I thought boys and girls don't exist in the 5th dimension.
An uncomfortable silence.
ASSISTANT
Who told you that?
SHOWGIRL
What's the 5th Dimension?
The Assistant sighs heavily and puts his arms over his head. All lights go off. Pause, then another sigh.
ASSISTANT
(In total darkness) Turn the light back on. Please.
DIRECTOR
I'm sorry. What? I didn't….was that a signal?
ASSISTANT
(To Director.) Turn The Goddamn Lights Back On.
DIRECTOR
Wait…didn't you just…I thought we were working off signals, here.(Long pause) right? (silence)
TECH
(Hey! Don't be pushin' buttons up there, man. I've got /)
DIRECTOR
/What?
TECH
-there're other shows, just- please don't mess with the board…up there. Please?
ASSISTANT
Oh no.
DIRECTOR
I WILL MESS…WITH ANYTHING…THAT I WANT.
I AM STILL…THE DIRECTOR…OF THIS SHOW.
ASSISTANT
Look, you two go ahead and-
Lights begin to cut on and off as The Director (unseen) begins mashing on the board in the booth.
TECH
Awesome.
SHOWGIRL
So I'm a he/she, right? Is that... (she holds out her script)
Is that what this is? I mean, I still don't understand.
ASSISTANT
(Attention focused on booth, but distractedly addressing Tech and Showgirl) Get ready to read.
SHOWGIRL
Did You Hear Me?
ASSISTANT
Uh-huh. Get ready to read.
SHOWGIRL
You're just ignoring me?
ASSISTANT
mmm-hmmm. Are you ready?
TECH
I can't believe I got drug tested for this fucking hassle.
SHOWGIRL
(riffling through her script.) Whatever.
The Assistant begins to march into the booth to calm things down.
ASSISTANT
(While walking) Start.
Tech
Now?
ASSISTANT
Start Reading.
TECH
(Looking through his script) Okay, uh…The Monster beats on the laboratory door while the Scientists search for an escape, and- (to the SHOWGIRL) You walk across the stage holding a sign..
SHOWGIRL
(Unmoving) Right- Walking, walking…(She holds up her script
To the audience) Act Two.
Act 2
All that follows is to be simultaneous: Tech and the Showgirl become frozen in time. Red lights and shrieking sirens grow painfully out of the laboratory. There's a violent banging on the door which the female scientist is holding closed with the full of her body, and her male counterpart is wildly mashing his hands onto the panel of multi-colored buttons below him.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
Lock The Door!
MALE SCIENTIST
I'm Trying. I'm Trying
FEMALE SCIENTIST
It's coming through, Damnit- lock the door!
MALE SCIENTIST
-almost…
A cold noise of metal on metal, and the door is locked. The woman slides to the ground in a daze but then quickly recovers and runs to look over the male scientists shoulder. The banging becomes more intense.
Female Scientist
Now, check the current.
MALE SCIENTIST
It's not the current.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
What is it, then?
MALE SCIENTIST
It's not the current. It….it may be an algorithm, or-
FEMALE SCIENTIST
/ Stop your damn analyzing and do something! What about this? (She randomly mashes a button.)
MALE SCIENTIST
Don't push that, it /
FEMALE SCIENTIST
/ What? What does it do?
MALE SCIENTIST
-destroys all of the suns in our neighboring galaxies.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
We have buttons for that? To hell with them, what about this one? (She mashes another random button.)
MALE SCIENTIST
…my God, an entire Universe…
FEMALE SCIENTIST
Then You Do Something.
MALE SCIENTIST
It's not that simple! It's a matter of risk and probabilities, not of pushing buttons like a fool!
FEMALE SCIENTIST
You watch what you say, you filth. Your job is to do
what I say and that's it. Now power the security with the power from the lab.
MALE SCIENTIST
Are you out of your mind? Do you remember what just happened to our people- to our entire civilization? We risk that same fate if ANYTHING is transferred outside of that door. We risk everything.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
You Risk Your Next Breath If It Isn't Taken In Sanctuary From That Monster! I'll Clone Another Dog From Your Ashes!
MALE SCIENTIST
Alright, then. (He mashes several buttons on the console.) Since you've made up your mind.
(A disembodied female voice pierces the labs interior.)
VOICE
This will activate displacement protocol 11. Are you sure you wish to proceed?
FEMALE SCIENTIST
11, what? What is protocol 11?
VOICE
Are you sure you wish to proceed?
FEMALE SCIENTIST
What are you doing? Explain the meaning of this.
MALE SCIENTIST
I'm afraid this is the only way. (He presses a button.)
VOICE
Are you sure you wish to- protocol has been activated.
Redirecting Auxiliary Power for Kerr Sinusoid Rotation.
(The Female Scientist makes a terrified scramble for the door.)
FEMALE SCIENTIST
No, no, no, no…
(There is a cold sheathing sound of metal on metal- and the door is once again unlocked. The Female Scientist shoulders it closed just as the monster is opens it up.)
FEMALE SCIENTIST
What have you done?
VOICE
Plotting descent coordinates. Is this OK?
FEMALE SCIENTIST
NO! This is not OK! Where are we goddamned descending to?
VOICE
Voice pattern not recognized. Plotting Descent coordinates. Is this OK?
MALE SCIENTIST
Yes. Proceed.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
Stop!
VOICE
Coordinates attained. Is this all?
MALE SCIENTIST
No.
VOICE
Please clarify.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
Yes! Please Clarify!
MALE SCIENTIST
Flood out message N-N-Alpha upon completion of protocol.
VOICE
Flood message N-2-Alpha upon protocol complete.
Is this correct?
MALE SCIENTIST
Yes.
VOICE
This will deplete all remaining auxiliary power. Do you wish to proceed?
FEMALE SCIENTIST
No! /
VOICE
Voice pattern not / recognized. Do you wish to proceed?
FEMALE SCIENTIST
/ wherever it is that you think you're taking us- we'd be stranded. We could never return. I order you to stop immediately.
MALE SCIENTIST
Proceed.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
No, NO, NO!
VOICE
Sinusoid rotation at full.
FEMALE SCIENTIST
This is our home!
MALE SCIENTIST
No…
VOICE
Initiate when ready.
MALE SCIENTIST
Not any more.
(He pushes a button.)
VOICE
Activation compl-
PROLOGUE
(Darkness. The Female Voice burns through heavy static into our ears.)
VOICE
N-n…(a beep) alpha, message..n-n..alpha (a beep)
broadcast…n-2…alpha, message (beep)
(Technical noises, and then the voice of the Male Scientist.)
MALE SCIENTIST
This is a warning. For the inhabitants of the world into which we descend...this is your warning: I am one of two remaining scientists, from an entire civilization of scientists that has been annihilated by a creature from the 6th dimension. I cannot explain the nature of a 6th dimensional reality to creatures with intellect as limited as your own; but I can tell you that we scientists are from the 5th and that each of you belong to what is known as the space/time continuum.)
ACT 3
SHOWGIRL
Act 2.
TECH
Act 3.
SHOWGIRL
Wh- no. It's...
TECH
It's Act 3.
SHOWGIRL
This is where they told me to start.
ASSISTANT
What's the hold up?
SHOWGIRL
Isn't this where you said to start?
TECH
They can't...see what you're...
ASSISTANT
What are you pointing at? Can you show her where to start?
TECH
Look...
SHOWGIRL
That's the same. That's what I'm reading.
ASSISTANT
Your'e starting from the third act, okay?
TECH
(Grabbing her script) Her's says act 2.
SHOWGIRL
See?
