(Editor: All the following entries were written by Chadwick, then torn out of their various books, copied, pasted together [in an order only the mind of the writer understood] and rebound to resemble a notebook. I have selected those related to each other through the trip the writer and I took into the depths of Mexico, back up into the Yucatan Peninsula, and then back towards America. My intention here, as with his other writings, is for the preservation of his work--the transcription from paper to hypertext; not editing. The entries below may or may not have any chronological order, as I--who was there--have had to organize each page by my own memories which, after reaching Campeche and beyond, wasn't very temporally sound...at all...)
[Ed. Begin Entries...]
Asleep on the shore with his hands over his head
and the deep Mexican sunlight washing through the
cloudless outereaches of the distant horizon, he
wakes up and belches water onto a swarm of insects-
Watches the liquid slip into the rivers currents.
A bird passes overhead and black clouds dust his
vision. More water from his lungs and a choke.
Asleep on the shore with his hands over his head,
the deep Mexican sun washing through his grey
crackled face.
and the deep Mexican sun is washing over his
featuresas the no rain/no clouds temperment of
this place could never do[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Phrase for the day.
!Damas para peasos!
we're going for a walk.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
I
So, after we hit the church and m
make a sign - Carlos hits us up
and gives us a ride. a
Now, there are many words for Carlos. b
Fat, comes to mind. a
and Smart, is another. g
... Funny....too....
oh... and mexican. o
f
truly mexican
l
(Note. i feel bossy - ordering Jaya around a
to speak Spanish for me. its.... u
unsettling.) g
h
he speaks just enough english s
to make him a fucking scholar
in my book. h
narrowing out these e
hugely difficult r
words...not e
to ask who
was (which he had done with b
grace) or where were going (that had u
already been established with the Sign) d
but to eschew upon us a vastlysimplerdandintelligent worldview-given only when y
asked - and added upon only when
neccesary. He was brilliant...[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Fanterrific.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
and when he dropped us off at the border,
he felt obliged to walk with us inside
Until he felt we were safe.
Not a penny was exchanged
Gracias, buddy.
Nuevo Laredo.
began with Chaos.
Some dude named joe outside
a pharmacy asking us if we
wanted any Special-K,
viagra, oxys, up, down,
leftwards, downwards......
then some dude next to a
horse...
" You wanna see girl cho'
bars? donkey? donkey cho'.
No donkey cho, bro'.
" oh."
we exchanged $10 into
100 pesos
and then stood outside of some
freakshow ice-cream parlour.
trying to understandMexican
economy (the value of a peso
by purchasing cokes and cigarettes,
and tequilla.....hmmm[Ed. End Page; New Page]
grasping the basics, we fought through the
pill nazi's and broke into something
at least slightly resembling reality - but....
in reality... resemblingmoresomething
slightlyresemblingsimilarmore fuckingchaos.
it was.... ohmygod.
i felt like a Suburban teenage-virgin
girl being peer pressured into mainlining
heroin by the Southside LA crips
muy bueno.
esta bien.
mucho weird...
Then the train. we followed it down
the tracks to where it
180'd
and were wondering if we
could hop it, and if so-
oh jesus this isnt happening.
butifitis
then....then.... if all of these schoolchildren
can hop trains to their houses after thier
studies are done.....
we can surely.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
but first, methamphetamines.
The guy @ the counter
of the pharmacy said,
and this is after numerous
Sketches (by myself)
and the resulting translations
(by jaya) - that Aderal
was not available
And he said it with Such
gusto that I knew it wasn't
legal anyway.
* Note: Mexico smells just as I
imagined=Mexican... good
and bad in the same weird
aroma.
This led us (stupidly) to another
pharmacy where, when denied our Money -
we fell frowning into charlie-who had
been waiting for us outside the
pharmacy after witnesing our
last debachle....and who had
"You want pills?" he asked.
#$%&^%&@!!#@only one functioning
hand. it looked like a gingerroot.
"pills?"
"Aderoll"
" Si."
"Terrific."
and we were off.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
down a winding road and into a
smoky bar - out of a smokey bar and
into a crowded street.Out of there
and into more weird places.
And then there was the Rx office.
or...'Medicos'....
ginger skippedwhere, following
ginger skipslead, we tromped
into a bare, stinking, Hot-wooden
box of a storefront and into
a lamp-lit cabnit office with
a fine ass chicana secretary
smiling for us to come in.
police! i thought!
we arefucked.
McMexican Jail.
no good.
So not good, i thought, that if this
daffy bitch trys to get stumpy here
to restrain me,,,i will eat her soul
with my mind and planther littlebug-eyed
mexican pop-tart out with the radishes
where he belongs.
" Pills? " she asks
did she say jail . I tense .
"No,pills goddamn it,pills!"[Ed. End Page; New Page]
and we are handed a menu.
i am crying inside.
this sheet of paper cannot be real.
oh but it is....
real expensive as well.
but real nontheless.
"we cannot aford this" Jaya says,
" How much can you afford ?" Stumpy asks.
" Not this, and these are what we
want.Sorry," and we stand to leave.
"wait,wait. What do you have?"
" Not enough." but as he says this,
I slip him my cd player.and
he smiles.
"We have this and 20 dollars .
Take it or leave it."
More winding roads
into another shop. we aproach
a park - he motions at a
place for us to sit.
" Now. You give $20 to me."
"No"We say. "Are you fucking
crazy?"
" You can watch," he motions
to a building[Ed. End Page; New Page]
and we did ...and he eventualy
resurfaced from the rubble of pale-
obnoxious colors to motion for us to follow.
and we did....
exchange made.
one more....ginger root shake....
and "poof."
into Stephen
another... guide...I guess.. ..
and he takes us to a bar
~~~ where we drink
~~~ and cover our adderoll
~~~ or rittalin, or whatever.
By this point, it is clear that we are not
crossing back over the border, In fact, it seems
as if we might push ourselves to Brazil
by morning, and with this in mind-
"is there a local busHow much are
bus tickets out of here? "
" To where? "
" To Merida."
"¿a Que es distancia esta Merida?"
"How the fuck should we know ? "[Ed. End Page; New Page]
actually we didn't say that.
" 200 bucks",he says as I wine.
so much for the
chicken bus.
I have no passport, by the way....
and, while, getting into
the bordertowns is an easy
task -
getting past the first
checkpoint is not.
They check, I suppose for
criminals.
Thus,we plan.
As for the train- no good...I dunno why,
but no good... Stephan said they check that
shit @ a seperate checkpoint 13 miles into
Mexico, as opposed to the 35 miles on the
road,andAs only one checkpoint is daunting
enough on its own-the idea of cracking
through another one seemed like torture.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
As for talking my way out of it - no way -
no go at all - I can barely ordercoffee
without gettingsome sort ofblack tar
heroinin its placeand I can't imagine where
trying topersuade theMexborder controll
would land me--probably the electricchair
pinata or some bullshit like that.
Ah, and then of course, thes the12milehike around
the checkpoint, which...while sexy in its
own right ... is not .... at all . . . .
and fuck that....
but.... after taking the city bus ( which
people (oh god this is silly ...)hit...to...stop....
mmm...hmm....
heha...he...hee...
HA HAHAAAAA!!!
!whew!
-after taking the city bus as far down as
10 miles out of the city, (awesome) @#$!%^@
^%&%$# @#% we stoped at this a
The city bus took us to a restaraunt
10 miles out of the city. We ate.
Jaya took off his shoes.
we popped pills.
!%@#%@!!!
we left
we walked with our thumbs outstretched
to the highway on our left, and our[Ed. End Page; New Page]
slumped beaten shoulders arched to the
field of trash on our right.
The deep, red, mexican
sunset lay rosy somewhere
between.
Night.
PEMEX station.
Truck stop.
and oh thank heaven for
mexican truckers.
They can
it was suggestedthatwegget someone
to drive us across in a trailer,
andrememberingthinking of my
family and friends subconsiously
urging that this suggestion be
dismissed outright -
i agreed.
So here we are.
waiting.
i feel bad having Jaya spend his
last week alive with me.
i feel like dead weight.
but wait,
we got picked up.
by Pablo Alton.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
|This entire notebook should be
|devoted entirely to Truck drivers.
|
|pablo | Uriel
|
| Mexican Truck drivers specificaly
|
| JAYA WILL KILL US
\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i woke up in the back
of some semi-
nono pablos semi....
truly in Mexico..
Now....
Shit.....[Ed. End Page; New Page]
i drew that picture because I was
nervous....I was nervous because
Pablo was trying to sell me to Maria
a hot older woman.
Hot
like...
anyway...i think my...er...
Pablos pill kicked in....
Rosie is....
hot too....
I think ....
I just...
woke up here.
bueno.
oh so mui bueno!
maybe this page should come to a close.
before I do.
No...[Ed. End Page; New Page]
There, we walked down the highway
in dissapointment after three city busses
passed us by at the bus stop .
we drank EmergenCy
with many juice
(and peach)
then walked into the lego jungle
(as it were)
complete with stray horses
and a creepy - gaudy playground.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
(What is it
with us and busses)
Sketchy. Shaky.
its all good untill somebody shouts
their footoff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting here in thiss coffeeshop,
in that coffee shop.
i am here now-
in some motel south of linareswe took a bus from Monteraywe bought a bus ticket
to
from Monteray to Montemorelos
butstayed on until linaresremained on board
whpast
when our stop came to pass.
Now, we had hoped that
the bus would take us on
into Ciudad victoria
or even Tampico , but when
everybody filed out in
linares - we had
little left but to do
the Same.
This proved to be
somewhat of a mistake
it seems.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
perhaps, in reflection, deciding to lie
and remain on the bus was the mistake.
however, in contrast,
But whatever the turning point,
we were now in the desolate
Mexican version ofanabsolute gringo
hell.... sort of.
it kind of reminded me of
what Nuevo Laredo was supposed
to be like after dark-
except it was 4:00 in the
afternoon and the donkeys
were still in the stables
with the other animals.
Kan, as I will now call Jaya from
this point on, decided to pass on the
cyber cafe in the bus station (and another
on a street nearby) for the public library
about 20 blocks down the street. .
There, he said, we would find what
we were looking for.
oh, Kan.
The public library,it turned out, was the
(which was called the culture center).
is, in fact, a 'culture center', and amongst
the many books (all in spanish ... and*note
as i grumbled in aggrivation at thetediousarduous
task of translation - Kan pointing, smiling,
to the childrens section..and I immediatly[Ed. End Page; New Page]
become more studios)- amongst these
books and galleryesque black/white
photographs ... there were @ least
35 policia, in uniform, at some type
of seminar in the center.
This i knew not of, when mentioning
my terrible hitchhikers stink to Kan,
(whothussuggested a speedy departure
to the beach (or Tampico)
he suggested we leave for the road immediatly
not realizing that the 35 policia
were mirroring our intentions-
and exiting en mass
from the door parallel
to the library.
( I... by the way ....
still have no passport,in case
any of you might havethoughtsomehow
conjectured that my ass was, in fact,
a government office.)
imagine stealing
imagine stealing costumes...
fromtheaclown tentpsychic
clown tent - only to realize
that the entire orginization
was having a meeting in the
porta-potty not two blocks from
your car.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
dealing with American police, however,
gave us somewhat of an edge, and as
JayKan moved to approach a particularly
small group oftheclowns-i nodded my
psychic head in agreement and followed
looking purposfuly Confused.
"¿Te donde Aieres?"
"Austin de Tejas."
I nod
"tu carro?"
"No, no ... carrillo."
"Carrillo?!"
" Si "
I nod.
anyway all this shit happens
after we goto a church and pray -
we end up in a motel
Where we meet
Guillermos and Raphael-
\/
outside of the apartmant
many -many miles to
|
Here__the Beach.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
They say no, no ...
banditos...
stay here. .
So we sleep on their roof.
in the morning, they
tell us to come back
before the following morning -
and we've got rides to
-villahermosa-
so off we walk into the
Jungle-
-so far-
-far-
and then here.
with No money.
No food.
No water.
but with a ride even further
into the jungle.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Im surprised at how relentlessly
cool Mexico is - and how tolerant
and accepting it people always
seem to be.
I am always in awe of the transiant charm
of this place - and of the giant, soul-
sucking mosquitos which plauge my
every waking step ... no...good thoughts...
the sunset...the... happy ... fun....
sweltering maddness of the sun...
So. . . not ... Good
i ...hate .... the nights here.
i love the days.
if i could say goodbye to mexico, if i
could voice my images of her to some
red-cross thank-you box in the sky-
i would say gracias -
and please get rid of the bugs....
because goddamn.
Goddamn.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
This country is....wicked pimp.
like nobody's fucking buisness.
but...
this is kind of rough.
we are ... 25klm north of veracruz.
we might be catching a ride into the
city tommorrow morning, ... but as
of now- we're on Some beach
in the middle of nowhere.
when Raphael and Jerry
dropped us off in
we immediatly went to find
some coffee--i wanted to smoke
all of my cigarettes - all of them.
i'm just zoning out--sorry -
uhh....
we got aphone card - but didn't use it.
walked on the turnpike due east-
(to the beach)
and ended up at some families
home at the edge of the Jungle -
"Donde esta las playas?"
They tell us through..there...
Somewhere...pointing
....into the Jungle... ..
we start to walk..
its night.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
So i dug Kans pocketknife out of
my knapsackandsharpened a walking
staff into a spear and
turned to the only other
thing i could - Lamar.....
the fucking ocean.
Now, before i continue - for those
of you who don't know me-
i am pale-
deathly pale
white-
as gringo as they come-
only one step above albino.
Mexican Sun Cooks me.
i do not tan.
On my way here- i had my arm
out the window of Jerry's truck
and it burned bad .
to ... somewhat protect myself....
i cut off the legs of my dickies
and tiedthemthe loose fabric
around the exposed area,
hoping that my skin would not
crisp and become infected-[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Not realizing that the defincincy of
nutrients would render my already
weak sunblock almost completely useless -
I stood in the sea unafraid.
i am paying dearly for that mistake now.
though coffee, cigarettes and sweet bread
make me happy - i am still suffering
imensly for my stupid blank despondancy.
But the Mexican night is cool
and it soothes both skin and soul simultaneusly-
i am lucky to be here.
i love my life - and I thank my
friend for allowing me to participate
in his quest for closure- in his
journey to live.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
... a little too much sun.
No..from there -
we walked more -
two - three hours more -
and allow me to reiterate the
list of our meager inventory -
everything we started with
except for only 10 dollars
-no cigarettes
-no more Rygar
-no more tequilla
-very little water
-no food
I had felt this way before -
so ... completely NOT GOOD
that the world around me
lost all sense of beauty and truth
Homesickness
nost so much from the
absence of friends or family,
but from the absence of
comfort - from the
comfort that comes
with having friends
and family.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
i would look @ Jaya and... even
though he is both a friend and family-
since he could offer no comfort @ the
time -he became only a ghost of
what i knew
essentialy - my discomfort defined
me withsucha disturbing clarity, thatwhich served to make me even morewhen we finaly
uncomftorable
did get to the beach-
i was such a nervous wreck that i
could only enjoy the place for mere
moments before becoming miserable
and unconsolable.
Badly needing food and water-
Iunsuccsesfullyattempted to pillage
coconuts from the nearby trees, since
Some one had already foraged
the fallen fruits -i was forced to
monkey around with sticks and rocks for
nearly three hours before becoming
even more depressed than i already
was and abandoning the project
altogether.
This was rock bottom.
Jaya was asleep beneath
our shaded 'blanket tent'- the
coconuts were laughing
at me... i was hungry -
unhappy-[Ed. End Page; New Page]
yet we escaped, and as you
might have noticed from the last
page of sorry, surrendered
depression .... things got a little rough.
we left the rooftop
@ Sunup expecting
the road we observed
the previous evening to
continune all the way
to the beach.
Mexico will have none of
that, thank-you.
instead - it abrubtly ended
on the edge of some corn
Field where-a... path...i guess
you could call it.... led to another
path (these turned out to be
drainage ditches) and ended
again at the crossing of a
thick vegetetive river - waist deep
with reeds and jungle foliage and
Completely covering the flowing water
itself.
it was here that I morphed my
body into a helicopter and flew
us both to the land of free drugs
and cigarettes.
There, we met Jerryjim McFicklehorn
and becamethe temporary rulers
of ......[Ed. End Page; New Page]
(with Sunburn and purpose)
i didn't think the sunburn would get worse..
i honestly did not.
ithought...oh...its red....
thats it.
but no... Mexico will have none of that, thank you.
i cannot move.
my body is dependent on shade
and immobility.
if this were a vacation- I could retire to my bed
and complain how my time was ruined by the sun,
but we have to push on - on ....
we have business to attend.
Kan has to kill demons - and I have
to write it down.
As bad as a sunburn can be without
money or comfort - its really all I have
left aside from my purpose.
so i walk with it,
become its friend.
we arrived in Coaxtucoal at 1:30 on
the 28th of march, and
my body is a deep fried
chicken strip.
These fucking Jungle cities ....
Jeez...[Ed. End Page; New Page]
i stopped and prayed again on the way
here.
Almost immediatly after getting off
in the city - we saw train tracks-
| leading|
| to |
|Campeche|
| and |
|T H I S |
| was |
|G O O D |
But, after waiting...er...sleeping....
at the 'bus stop. (again, the busses
dont really stop unless you catch their
attention) for almost three hours--
i dunno..
we needed coffee,
Unfortunatly -the people are
catholics and refuse to open shop
before three- so we had to
walkforquite a ways before finding
a place with coffee.
Anyways - here we are -
staring @ two fine ass senoritas
who are
~ ahem ~
Staring back and smiling[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Catching the train will be
hell.
Hell on my Sunburn.
Hell
But, whatever. if this...
shit-
I'm zoning out again.
its this burn.
OH! Woe! Woebe
my fucking back! Fuck!!
Fuck this fucking Sunburn!!
(A ship in harbour is safe, but that
is not what they are builtfor.)
author unknown.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
I want.... hmm.... a blonde
Somebody...er.... Sort of blonde somebody-
in my bed,inAustin.
But now.... i want a story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soooo many hot senorita burritos-
my chorizo is- yearning.
i'm not quite sure if you're supposed to
tip in this place - but.... we don't.
er.
Kan just called my sun burn
"Strawberry cream"... i hate him.
I'm not quite sure exactly
why I'm here. I have a...vauge
notion of what I'm supposed to
be doing - but even that tends to
blur arpimd tje edges @ times.
what do I know?
Constant itching sux-
Constant itching is a symptom
of a recovering sunburn.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Sunburns are caused by the Sun-
thus-
Fuck a whole
bunch of the sun.
i also hate mosquitos- there is no
becoming a mosquitos friend.
One cannot walk with a
mostquito-
and to Cut any smartasses off at
the mark-
one cannot Fly with a mosquito
either.
The dogs here are really
unfortunate animals.
if it dosent have three legs or
a distended asshole - then its
either starving to death
or thouroughly retarded.
we saw one with two
nutsacks.
aside from the three legs bit-
i wonder if because of the language
barrier- I am unable to determine
if the same rule applies to
the humans here.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
So... checking out the busses-
Campeche is....
a bit too expensive.
300 pesos per person.
no thank you.
instead we opt for a hike.
to where?
how?
idunno
but lets get the Fuck outta here.
i can't tell which is worse ...
the terrible burning
or the terrible itching.
one thing I do know...
is
FUCK
THA
Beach.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One things for sure - i have
an uncanny gift for spending pesos.
un.
canny.
like liquid stuff in my pockets.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Now this is pretty funny...
we're sitting @ this bus stop all
day trying to hop a freight train
to Campeche, but - as our luck with
trains is somewhat comparable to our
luck with city busses- all we end
up doing is reading and napping mostly.
(Fill in gaps with
stormy children lingering
about the area.)
at the end of the day, after pleading
with my family to wire us some
money - we decide to camp out
somewhere down the street from the
freight station in a huge,
Supermarket Construction site filled
with amongst other things -
mosquitos.
This, coupled with my terrible
Sunburn was .... intolerable.
So,#@!$#&*...
On our way back to the bus-stop
i concocted a plan-
" What do you think about staying the
night in a hotel?"
" With what money?"
" None. Credit. "
" Credit? "
" !Si! "
" Are you- Are you okay, man? Listen, lets
get you a place to lie down."
" How about there?" pointing to la Haciend hotel.
Kan was incredulous. I continued speaking
as I unhurridly led the way across the
street--
"listen, just try and translate for me as best
you can -
Ten minutes later, we're fast asleep
beneath the cool streaming jets of a mexican
air conditioner.
The bed was pretty nice too.
in the morning, however- the entire staff is
waiting nervously for us in the lobby.
One of us can leave while the other
works to get the money - or both of
us can wait in the air conditioned[Ed. End Page; New Page]
lobby smoking cigarettes, watching Tv and
reading while we wait for the western
union to arrive.
God... I... Love...this fucking
Country.
You see, at least until they get slow or
excessivly lazy- smart people don't go
to mexican prisons,
We go to hotels.
I'll be in touch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perhaps iwas ... excessivly egomaniacal in
the previous passages.
Because, @ anytime - the old man
running this joint could call up
the Federalis and have us hauled
up to a real mexican prison
where we would undoubtedly be
raped of our souls,
but-
estamos lejos de los Estados Unidos
we are far away from the united states
estamos lejos de Tejas
we are far away from Texas.
¿por donde esta el parque?[Ed. End Page; New Page]
21 mosqito bites - in one evening.
if I catch Malaria - I'm coming
back to this country with
a shotgun and an appitite
for insects.
gringos.
We're on a bus heading out to
mayapan and Kan is telling me that
a lot of the fauna around the cities has
been imported.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
and it is because we hate our lives when we
are given time to reflect upon them in great
detail that we explode with chaose - and
inflict upon this world we love ...the
restlessness it unknowingly bestows upon us.
We are a product of our environments
and are only here to test the
waters for our succesors...whoever they might
be.
if there is any truth to the myths of bad
cities being homes to bad deities- then
coaxucoaltos has a nasty bitch of a daddy.
i think we were brought here
for a reason. I think there are
hunters here. I think that we should
return again to
be certain.but for now-
to sleep. To enjoy airconditioning
while it is available to us.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
For the futherment of my impure
drive to control.
If this makes me a bad person....
Surely it makes Tara Reid the Devil.
and ... yknow... even as I
write this down .... I am still wishing
she were here .... holding my hand...
whispering me to sleep.
What the hell - how many deaf Austrians
can one meet in a day. Is there an
expo in Mexico for european hearing aids?
actually- I only met one....
- but its still fucking wierd.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
All of these things compound. All of my hopes
and fears disolve at the mercy of my benefactors,
while the purpose of my journey - the heart of
my travels and the meaning of my coming here to
begin with - these things, i hope remain the
same.
I pray these kindnesses do not poison my
mind or spoil the resivoirs of my creativity.
... I ... I...I....
Sometimes Tara Reid or one of her clones will come
on TV @ home in America - and i'll wish that she
were mine and that all of this, her acting and
theatrics, were secretly for my benefit only.
That when she smiles...she's really smiling at me.
That when she closes her eyes, it is because i
am there behind her thoughts.
But then i think of when we go place together and
when we are amongst a crowd of boys who want
to be me, and girls who want to be her-with
me- what that actually accomplishesto be with her
to begin with.
it seems to be the entire purpose of my wanting
he to begin with- which renders the whole
of my wanting a vain and vile stem
of the imagination.
Why?
Why does someone like Tara Reid arouse such thoughts.
Suppose for a moment she was mine for a day....
would it not merely serve to make other girls
jealous? Would it not make her simply a tool[Ed. End Page; New Page]
OK, look ...buddy.
i no speak psycho babble
Ok, look people.... I think all of you
are just plain weird. There is simply
no excuse for how ...bizarre you all
are I mean COMEON, general
I cant even write a letter without
getting all creeped out
"stop writing us, then." you might say.
ooohhh noooo ....
I won't be tricked that
easily by your devil
games.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
~~~~~
Breakfasthowever was good.
Served by a beautiful woman who served
Kan with sweet eyes all morning.
this is good.
] Urgon - great black dragon of the
] desert. fought with pheonix-
] pheonix crashed to earth-
] breaking open ground-
] Urgon fell in -
] This happened in Death
] valley.
] sin city
Kaleb
Chinaman ]Hunters
Ra .
Villahermosa is a nice town-
i fail to usesuperlatives(awesome)
to describe its beauty - because of one Brian Cleavland,
a brit who thinks that Americans
overuse superlatives - missing out
on the whole purpose of descriptive words.
He says -
"An American would look @ this cup of coffee
and say - oh this is fucking awesome!
and this is a good cup of coffee....[Ed. End Page; New Page]
"but what do you do when a truly awesom cup
of coffee comes along."
"Well"I say"Then I say that its the best
cup of coffee I've ever had."
" OK " he says " Then what do you do when
you actually drink the best cup of coffee you'v
ever had?"
I think this over.
"I say... I know I said that other
cup of coffee was the best I've ever had....
but damn... this one takes the cake....
after that.." I reason."its just a measurement
of which cup of coffee 'takes the cake.'"
"Fucking Americans and your fucking circular
logic."
"OK!" I tire of these games. "Its a so-so
cup of coffee."
Brian grunts his approval.
Fucking Brits and their fucking pleasantries.
They kill me.
From now on...'the best'...will be called 'superlative'
What gets me even more are these New
Zealander chicks we met.
goodness..
I wont bore you all with absurdities- as
this whole documentation is absurd in itself.
Instead, i'll call your attention to the simplistic
nature of our Journeys, which is that life
in its purest form is a lovely thing.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
But no!
Alas, on our journey via bus to ciudad del carmen
from campeche the mood miraculously lightened.
As we were waiting at a stretch of highway which
across the penninsula - we met a man whos luck stretched
was such that its goodness superceded onto our own.
we were picked up immediatly,
and in the back of this truck amidst ... gallons
and gallons of Super leaded gassoline.....
The stars shone as I had
never seen them shine before.
Cool jungle wind on my face...
giant fucking bugs slamming into my
eyes .... and when i turned around...
on my neck....
jeez.
Mexico sure has a way of balancing things
out for you. I'll give it that much.
So now we're in some desolate town near villahermosa,
A hotel room we got for (10$ US.) The power just went out
and......ohthisisgood...this is funny....
we noticed that...coming in...
the owners of the hotel seemed a little....
fruity.
But as soon as the power went out-
The fruits turned out to be a local import.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Several gay men @ our door -
hopping and skipping around.
I CANNOT SLEEP
WHILE HOT
AND ITCHING
These bugs are fucking killing me.
This sweltering heat is maddening.
I cant concentrate on anything.
Hotel De La Dive
*Dirt Devil (venemous)
*lights go out
in the who city
we get knock on-
*ceiling fan
(which does nothing to
beat away the sweltering
heat or thick indoor
clouds of flesh-eating
mosquitos.. it only
squeaks.
The squeaking sounds like birds.
*giant cockroach
*shower
(always dripping water...
noise amplified by
hollow room.)
*small dog
(incesant barking
longest stretches
i've ever heard)
*Frontdoor
- where the gay owner
of the hotel and his
brother (also gay)
offer us candlelight
instead of electricity.
His two friends (both gay)
come and tell us how
pretty we look.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
Beyond any rational hope for establishing a
fixed set of goals or a fixed, established place...
beyond all that - All we really have now is the hope
of getting out of Mexico in ... one ... bumpy piece.
is it the 6th of April. I think it is.
we left on the 22nd of March.
15 days in.
uh...i skipped over some shit while in the
Monkey hostel.
Who knows what the hell to think anymore-
who cares? Who could possibly want more out
of life than what is given to them by the
natural course of things.
Yesterday while waiting for a bus
in villahermosa, we decided to go someplace
cool and get our heads together over drinks-
the first place we went
was playing 'Big Trouble in Little China'
Now
I wont even pretend to know where this is....
i think when, however is the 7th ...
Finally the chicken bus!
Mention the immigrations officer calling us
wetbacks then letting us go!
Mention the lady at the hotel not allowing
us to stay because of our previous scum...
which we paid for!!![Ed. End Page; New Page]
Mexisketch comedy is on the tubein the terminalas we wait for our
bus into Brownsville.
I'm wondering if it would be as
funny if i actually understood what
these maniacs were saying to each other.
would I wince instead of laugh.
As it stands, spanishto meis still
a googly language to me.
its remeniscent of what a
fraggle would speak if he had
not been influenced by American
television.
This whole experience, iadmit, has beenmore
like a drug-induced train ride through
an exceptionaly wacky episode of pin-wheel;
where two exceedingly goofed-out astronaughts
Stare bug-eyedand panickedasourtheir
space ship sails vacant into space.
So lets all burn Squares and Celebrate
nonexistance with the rest of the clowns.we can all drink coffee and call each other
we'll pop pills till the ground around us bursts into
flames and the sands of time melt into glass fromneath the naked, sweating toes. digits. toes.the
sheer, naked heat of it all.
we can sink-i tell you-into that which is,
and that which could never ever be in a cool
gazillion years. Yup.[Ed. End Page; New Page]
To what purpose do we drive to find meaningin our lives? Is it because we are reincarnated,
recycled into imperfect lives@#%$@always striving
to escape into some obscure form of pure being?
or are we merely reacting to instinct and vary in
character only on the basis of ignorance to
certain types of these instincts?
Are these people, these abominations .... are they
really spiritual decendants from the inhabitants of
Atlantis? Or are they simply acting out these fantasys
to compensate for a loss of certain instinctual desires?
What is the truth?
what is truth?
does it matter?
Do these people serve a purpose either way?
Do I ?
Kan says that another Seal has been broken.
I hope so.
I hope so, buddy.[Ed. End Entries...]
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